Thursday, May 17


I still remember clearly what happened last Sunday

In the afternoon, I couldn't watch Joel (only a moment), but still had little time to hear Victoria's voice. She said, "You don't have to wait for your Past. Keep on moving.. Wait for your Future, and don't forget to make a progress on it.."
I tried to interpret that statement. Somehow, this is a right answer for what I'm looking for..

I'm not waiting.. Sorry, you won't find the 'old' Lee anymore

Thank you for my brother, for the time ^^
He suddenly called me at 00:00 am on Bali's time, 01:00 am in Jogja #gedheg2..
There was something strange about his voice (he was confused), although his way to tease me is always the same. It was a simple meeting between Galau-boy and Sick-girl (sick + 'sick'). Most of the time, I became a good listener..
Then, I thought, "since when he became a wise-man like that", he's cool.. I'm 'jealous', jealous in the positive way, "why I don't do like him?"

After the call ended, I couldn't sleep well, I was in tears. These feelings were mixed..
I was ashamed, because I was too careless in dealing with problems, even I create new problems. I bear the sad in the long time, and it hurts much longer, while others were progressing good things in the same time. I had high expectations to people, which I shouldn't do it..
Sometimes, I want to ask, why you could 'speak' easily, while you can't really 'do' it. If I really asking it, then this is the worst part of me.
Unfortunately, the fact is you never change, you're still the same..

In the end of the day, if you couldn't change and I'm tired to change,
I'm not waiting anymore.. I'll progressing....

--- don't ever ask me why ---

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