Thursday, May 31

nice moment

Thank God..
Thank you, because I have people like that around me, we can still gather and have fun together. I'm lucky and grateful, I can meet & know great people like them in my life.
That's my lil' family in here, gomawooo ^^
The next question, how can "I'll be there" for them ?
Just wait and see, if my consideration is right, I'll make sure my presence there..

Another nice moment for today..
While I was watching RM, I got a call from Simbok at 11.15 pm.
# I realized that I forgot to send message in dinner time
# tonight, I should even be in Temanggung with my parents
# in the morning, we planned to share story at night
we had talked for 2 hours or more, ahahahahaaa.. We had 'our time' as usual..
While tomorrow we will meet each other,
oups, it's today.. 17 hours again, gogogo~~~

--- I can't sleep tonight ---

Wednesday, May 30


I still thinking about to swim right now
# melting in the dawn
I've changed clothes several times

And I realize that I would wake up several times in 4-5 hours later
# crowded place

Immediately, want to go home
and do a long hibernation

--- tuk-antuk ---

Tuesday, May 29

so just shut up and be mine

esp for my chingu
# IF, you're still there

So just shut up and be mine
Don’t wait a little more
It comes with no voice, It’s a love that goes
I’m afraid that it will disappear

So just shut up and be mine
Come here in front of me
Don’t hesitate, take my hand at this moment
we’ll make it through anything, you’re the one I bet

--- honestly, you're really the one that I bet ---

Sunday, May 27


there are many bikes in this house..
I wish, I could 'rent' one of them for a day
just want to play around like I used to be

is that possible ???

in a different place and time
however, I'll do it!!

--- gelelengan is a good thing ---

Saturday, May 26

tok tok..

Woooaaaaaah, what a cool coincidence!!
My ringtone exactly the same as Kim Jong Kook ring-back-tone
# running man 45
It's so b.e.a.u.. tiful.... ^^

We used this: Mighty Mouth ft. Soya - Tok Tok

A nice song with a happy rhythm,
and sometimes feels 'naughty' inside, khukhukhu..
# finally, I found NEW theme of my life, perfect

# singing loudly

boy I like the way you talk talk
nae gwitgae ssokssok
dalkomhage tok tok
malhaejullae love love
ma baby boo (just wanna love you girl)
ma love is true ~~~

Today, I also had an interesting experience with KJK
When I had a break-time, I watch RM. There is one incident, when KJK called someone.. And in the same time, suddenly, my phone was ringing too..

boy I like the way you talk talk
... DEGH ...
nae gwitgae ssokssok
dalkomhage tok tok
... DEGH ...
malhaejullae love love
ma baby boo (just wanna love you girl)
... DEGH ...

I got my "DEGH" time, and this one is absolutely great..
I hope, I could pick up that calling >___<

And this Tok Tok will last in a long time because of this moment,

--- thank you KJK, thank you Sender ---

Thursday, May 24


... photo can speak ...

Accidentally saw our photos on Facebook,
there are still good memories in it..

Even at this moment, I sat and wondered,
.. how we can met in the first time ..
.. what made me attracted to you ..
.. why did I care about you ..
.. and why .... ..

. . . .

It's already 2 am,
time to sleep..

--- close the book ---

Monday, May 21

how to create an Evil

Woaaaaaah, I'm so happy..
I could have a change to watch All About Eve (Korean drama) again. I remember on that time, the first was Endless Love, and this was the second.
The actress is Park Chae Rim, sometimes she looks like Vicky Zhou, because she has big eyes o___o. While Jang Dong Gun is cool, xixixixi..

At first, I had a wrong intention..
I checked 'eve' in dictionary, and I found it same as evil, bad, mean, .. All About Bad Things.. Because there is someone who have an Evil's side, very bad.. Never seen drama like this from Korea, except from Indo, but it really seems real, very natural, super evil..

Then, I knew a couple named Adam & Eve..
So, this was talking All About Evil Eve. 

And this is my truly interest.. Eve..
Men can rule the world, but Women are the masters of the men
# gentlemen, this is true

If you want to create an Evil Eve, this is the great formula:
poor family background (not economically) + possessive + envy
Enk, ink, eeenk.. You get a creature called Evil

eh, time to work again..
I'll continue it later, chaaa~~~

I love your smile

Some people didn't and don't realize,
If I always 'fight' for them..
For me, it's better to do, than to say it
# until right now, I'm afraid to make a promise

They even don't know, if I must take decisions, and get the risks
they don't care about the way or efforts, they only want to hear the results
I'm not blaming, it's human nature

"the day when you try to please everyone, is the day that you'll get hurt"
# ding dong..

That's my people in my world,
and somehow I still responsible to 'fight' for them..
I got no idea, what kind of person I am.. still believing in 1, 2, 3 things.. still doing 1, 2, 3 things.. still feeling 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 things.. still the same.. not exact, but still the same.. Called me, ndableg..

And another funny story, if you asking, what do you 'fighting' for?
I'll answer confidently, I dunno.. Maybe, I'm still looking for the reason. And this is my new mission, simple one, just trying to find your smile :)
I love your smile~~~ # singing Holladang - I love Your Smile

Thank you for telling your feeling,
because when I felt the same before, it meant I was NORMAL..

Friday, May 18

tell me why be normal

I was telling my Sunday story to Simbok, that I've got a calling from brother.
Suddenly, I was sharing the story with tears, it happened automatically.. These are tears of relief and happiness. 
And then, Simbok also said, when Daddy knew that brother called me to share his story, Daddy was crying too, for the same reason.
[hmmmmmm, I got this cry-baby from him]

I'm grateful to have a solid family like this. Everytime I remember about this thing, I am always moved..
#teary eyes

And, we had another 'funny' story.. Because we are a NORMAL family, other families ENVY about this thing. 
Since when it is 'dangerous' to be normal? since.... when....

This morning, I was singing "tell me why be normal~ tell me why be normal~ tell me why be normaaal~~~"
(G-Dragon ft YG Family - Why Be Normal)
Then I got an answer about my last question. Since the first, man are always ENVY (source: bible)
[Simbok & Daddy told it before too]

--- the first human problem was terrible ---

Thursday, May 17


I still remember clearly what happened last Sunday

In the afternoon, I couldn't watch Joel (only a moment), but still had little time to hear Victoria's voice. She said, "You don't have to wait for your Past. Keep on moving.. Wait for your Future, and don't forget to make a progress on it.."
I tried to interpret that statement. Somehow, this is a right answer for what I'm looking for..

I'm not waiting.. Sorry, you won't find the 'old' Lee anymore

Thank you for my brother, for the time ^^
He suddenly called me at 00:00 am on Bali's time, 01:00 am in Jogja #gedheg2..
There was something strange about his voice (he was confused), although his way to tease me is always the same. It was a simple meeting between Galau-boy and Sick-girl (sick + 'sick'). Most of the time, I became a good listener..
Then, I thought, "since when he became a wise-man like that", he's cool.. I'm 'jealous', jealous in the positive way, "why I don't do like him?"

After the call ended, I couldn't sleep well, I was in tears. These feelings were mixed..
I was ashamed, because I was too careless in dealing with problems, even I create new problems. I bear the sad in the long time, and it hurts much longer, while others were progressing good things in the same time. I had high expectations to people, which I shouldn't do it..
Sometimes, I want to ask, why you could 'speak' easily, while you can't really 'do' it. If I really asking it, then this is the worst part of me.
Unfortunately, the fact is you never change, you're still the same..

In the end of the day, if you couldn't change and I'm tired to change,
I'm not waiting anymore.. I'll progressing....

--- don't ever ask me why ---

Saturday, May 12


in 20 minutes,
I felt asleep for more than 20 times..

in each sleeping,
only lasts for 3 seconds
it's like plug-unplug-plug-unplug-plug-unplug....

what was I waiting for? NOTHING!!!
because it is already happening, then I have no right to expect anything more
I just need a right time to go back to my bed

and when I was lying,
suddenly I want a co-bedding T_T

Thursday, May 10

truth or lie

There's always some truth behind 'just kidding',

knowledge behind 'I don't know',

emotion behind 'I don't care',

and pain behind: 'It's okay'.

--- nodding ---

Tuesday, May 8

# searching songs

there is always a reason for everything that I do
every single step, even for the things that I like, 
I will plan any 'scenario' that allows..
however, there are things that are unexpected and beyond my limits

and there are memories in every song that I choose for my mobile
my hope is I could remember it every day and every time

I thought, KJK ft Soya - You Know Everything would be stay longer
*beautiful sound of KJK
Unfortunately, I was wrong, you don't ... anymore

# searching songs

Then, I remember this, 
I always told: "my secret time", and I really wanted it
But you never came back.. # bitter.. bitter.. bitter..
song that I hold in the longest time is Secret - I Want You Back (slow version)

# still searching songs
The next song should be 'happy' or 'naughty' song, that's better for this time

Monday, May 7

whistling troublemaker song

the day when you say don't,
that's become the day that I "DO"..

and the day when you say do,
it would be the day that I "DON'T"..

that's how I facing you, after what you've done..
however, if it goes like this, then I'm progressing to make a new problem
but somehow, that's become my rules
I believe that I am a good 'director', and therefore I'm always in a big crisis too

--- troublemaker ---

Saturday, May 5

don't care

it's very funny,
I already look like an 'ababil' today
* shame on me

My brief story today..
At 12 p.m, I was on my break time, then I browsed to fulfill 'my need'. Then, I was curious about your status, and I found out about it.. 
Honestly, I was quite upset, and I've written it all in my previous post.

In a few moments, I had an urgent task in my office. I really focused on it, because calculating many numbers need a high concentration. 
Thanks for my goodness, I had this thing to do, and I forgot about my anger..

I was lucky this time, I got a positive effect. This wasn't ruin my day..
I still had good mood. I got clue on my task, and almost finished it. I was retired from a 'stalker'. I don't care anymore, yeeeeeeiy....
'cause I don’t care - e - e - e - e - e - e #singging loudly

Anyway, being busy is my best option,
* if.. IF.. you really want to know a reason behind that

or Do you want to offer me another options?
Jebaaal, don't make me cry again. I'm tired T_T, I don't want to lose my coolness again..
I'll learn to do what you've done, the "don't care" thing

Hmmmmmm, how many "don't care" thing that I wrote before this post?
* quite a lots #gedheg2..


hard choice,
but this is my last decision..
* a late decision T___T

I'll never 'stalking' to you anymore in FB
it means,
I don't care about what do you think, what do you do, what do you say, bla bla bla..

But, if I don't accidentally see it, I guarantee, it is purely accidental
* see != stalk
because I could not hide yours, unless it is a fatal crush

Because no single word that come out from your mouth,
should I hear it from the others?
* although I had guessed it from the first
This can't be called CHINGU!!!
What can I 'expect' from you, while there isn't trust at all
That's why I always said, "geot-jit-mal"

And this is karma for me, geeeez..
wae~ wae~ wae~~~

finding another new target is not a simple mission
or maybe this was my last action for targeting people again
# retired

--- just want you to know, this is my feeling, I believe that you never guess it ---

Friday, May 4

geot jit mal

geot jit mal..

geot jit mal.. geot jit mal..

geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal..

geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal..

geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal.. geot jit mal..

wae ? wae ? wae ?
waeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!

Tuesday, May 1


I really like it..

when you online there,
so I know that you are still there
your presence there just makes me calm
at least, I can feel that we are still close each other

when we are bored, we can chit-chat as usual
that's a nice console
or even,
when we are in busy mode, we still support together

I really like it..

where are you know right now !?!?!?
came when April arrived, and walked away after April passed
I've done what I usually do in April >___<

should I use BB just for keep in touch with you,
while your whatsapp isn't active too T___T

I think we'll meet at November, or maybe next year..

--- change = 20 % ---