little story about 'how to pray'

... took from preaching clergyman ...

[Mon, Jan 31, 2011]

Intro..

I forgot about the writer's name, but I knew what the story is.. A nurse who works in a small hospital, she tries to teach her patients how to pray. Simple parable to remind us while we are praying..

How to pray?

When we start to pray, we usually fold our hands across our chest. Lets look our hand. It has 5 fingers, thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger and little finger. Each finger represents persons who should we pray..

1. Thumb, a finger that closest to ourself (remember about the attitude of a prayer). When we look to thumb, we should pray for the people closest to us. Our father, our mother, our brothers, our sisters, our families, our relatives, people who we love..
2. Index finger describes the person who indexing, directing, pointing, even teaching another people. Our teachers, our lecturers, our clergymen, people who guide our life..
3. Middle finger, the highest finger defines about power and leadership. Our president, our ministers, our ecclesiastical officials, RT/RW officials, etc..
4. Ring finger, according to pianist, it is the weakest finger. Remember about poor people around us. People who lack both physical and spiritual. The poor, the sick, the lonely one..
5. Small finger, the smallest finger. Guess what, it is US....

Do you get it?

--- isn't it simple & beautiful ---

an old song..

... I had a feeling, and that is true ...

I didn't know, if next Thursday is a holiday (Chinese's New Year). Everything was great, no problemo at all. Until this happened..

The following took place about 1 am [Fri, Jan 28, 2011]

Some people discussed about that holiday, and some of them chatted with me. I heard that information at early morning. So, I got that feeling, the bad one.. Honestly, my brain was 'disconnect' for a while, and I couldn't think clearly. I chose to sleep and left my duty behind.

Today, I successfully made my day more enjoyable. I have completed several office tasks. And I even came home overtime for reporting to my boss, and discuss another tasks. It was relieved me, my satisfaction as a worker..

Am I proud? Absolutely yes..

Eng.. ing.. eeeng~~~

What happened when I came to home? I corrected my question, what happened when I said "next Thursday is a holiday"? Simbok said another jackpot again.. bla.. bla.. bla~~~ Yeap, an old song, and my feeling came true..

That moment, simply erased my satisfaction. What I've got is sick and tired about that..

--- cenat cenut ---

hail for debugging

... PHP versus .NET ...

My default programming language is PHP (actually based C)

When I need to debug code, I usually write this statement in most places.

• print_r(....)
• print or echo

Why we debug manually (with write code too)? Because we can't see truly PHP's code in there. Server has interpreted PHP's code to HTML's code. To display the value of variables, we need to print them manually, one by one.

Unfortunately, debugging in PHP is wasting time or not efficient >,<

Now, I must learn lots of thing about .NET framework [C.O.D]

What an interesting experience.. I saw my Senior debugging, and I was enjoying on that moment. For the very first time, I use some breakpoints appropriately for debugging (haha).

These are some steps that I use for debugging:

• set some breakpoints
• F5 to start debugging
• F10 to go to next statement
• F5 (when debugging) to go to next breakpoints / process
• I could observe each value of the variables by hovering them :D

Debugging in .NET framework is cool and efficient. Programmer should be like this. Slowly but sure, I love to code with .NET framework too.. Thanks you, Senior, you've made me realize and open my mind.

*oups, 3:14 am....

--- you just need more carefulness & patient when debugging ---

hosh.. hosh.. hosh....

... I got bad dreams 3 times in a row ...

I hope in the end of the day, I could control my emotion. At least, I shouldn't meet people and 'those' cameo too.. I don't want to hate them at a later day until I forget it.

Very weirdo, huh?

Yeap, and those weirdo was Lee.. That because in my dream, I always try to do my best. And 'those' cameo let me down. The world wasn't fair enough, people would let me down not only in the real world, but in my dream too. Geez....

--- wake up time with breathless is annoying ---

2nd jackpot

... simple Q & A between me & Simbok ...

The following took place about 10 pm [Sun, Jan 23, 2011]

I came out from my room to find Simbok. She was lying on a bed and watching tv while waiting my sister to come home. Suddenly, I found her, and I hugged her. I didn't know what I was thinking about at that time. It was just my reflexes..

Then, I started our discuss..

Lee :: What is the purpose of our life?

Simbok :: ....

Lee :: What should we do in the future, when we've got everything?

Simbok :: What do you mean?

Lee :: First, I have graduated from school & college. Then, you asked me to work, I found my right job, and I was working on it. And now what??

Lee :: Why people come and go easily from my life?

[maybe something was stuck on my mind..]

Simbok :: You know what, you must be more grateful. Because you still have "that" chance..

Simbok :: [bla bla bla....]

[I was thinking for a while]

Lee :: So, that is a cycle of human life, huh?

[ .... ]

Lee :: I think I'm in an angry mode, what if I forget it with eat a lot? Isn't it a positive way, because I can increase my weight..

Simbok :: Sure, you can :)

[went to kitchen to take a lot of rice for my late dinner]

After that, I started to build my busy world, as busy as possible..

--- stupid question ---

and she was right (again)

deja vu of December

unfortunately,

I don't have a right to say 'don't'

. . . .

it looks like a deja vu

the same feeling in last December

(sigh)

I even felt in vain for what I did for this semester

I hope this is the last 'deja vu of December'

--- aaaaaargh ---

welcome to dudutz's world

... come and join us ...

let me say this

there are dudutz people that say dudutz

and only dudutz people say dudutz

so, who's that person?
wekekekek

--- that's my chingu ^^ ---

all about 3 o'clock

We've heard stories about Cinderella, right?

I try to share my little story, that adopted from Cinderella..

I am just a girl like Cinderella, and I'm not girly as her
If this case happen, I would say: "menthel...."

I'm not a maid, and I don't want to be a maid :p
I ever did 'become a maid in 6 hours',
a few days later, I was in e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d mode

I don't need a beautiful dress, pair of glass shoes to come in a party
I only need my lappie, an internet, and don't forget, an electricity
for doing my duty and my kyaa2's time

But we had deadline time..
She got 12 o'clock in a moment
And I got 3 o'clock in day

What would happen, if I break that time?
03:00:01 am.. 03:00:02 am.. 03:00:03 am..
* I only hope, I still could nggembel *

Day 1 [Sat, Jan 15] 'till now [Thu, Jan 20]

I did lots of activities. Plus, combined with my bad habit, time forgot. Then, I couldn't control my sleep time regulary (doooh). At least, I've tried to sleep before 3 o'clock or less 10 minutes, ekekekek..

Then, what did i do? These are activities that caught my attention..

• oprek Xperia X8.. I am so Android now..
• playing games in X8 to make a good record
• coding for my office.. (call on duty)
• practising C#'s code.. (call on duty)
• reading article about C#, .NET & their techno (call on duty)
• installing Visual Studio 2008.. loong time~~ (call on duty)
• installing OS.. repeatedly because of my stupidity.. loooong time~~~~ (call on life)

[sing a mars song for IT]

I can't live.. I can't live without you~~~

* (now) 'you' refers to 3 things: lappie, internet & electricity *

--- re-writing Cinderella's story when my lappy is dying ---

biane..

. . . .

I'm sorry

>,<

I couldn't tell anything..

something that not sure

something that I called 'prediction'

something that even I don't like it

since it wasn't my willing (huft)

I don't know

I should to be happy or sad

I chose to be grateful

--- life is never flat ---

jay park - count on me (nothin' on you) (lyric)

jay park - count on me (nothin' on you)

(english version)

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

They might say hi [hi] and I might say hey [hello]
But you shouldn't worry [why] about what they say
Coz they got nothing on you baby
[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you]
Nothing on you baby
[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you, Come on!]

The only thing that I, wanted more than your sweet touch
Is the time I get with you

Babe, I need you o so much
I feeling that Love peace with U
[I feeling that Love peace with U]
I feeling that Love peace with U

So am I, the one that make you feel
The way you make me, babe
Trying to tell you that it's real
There ain't nothing more to say
From this moment our Love peace with U
[From this moment our Love peace with U]
From this moment our Love peace with U

They might say hi [hi] and I might say hey [hello]
But you shouldn't worry [why] about what they say
Coz they got nothing on you baby
[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you]
Nothing on you baby
[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you, Come on!]

There's no much nonsense
It's on my conscience
I'm thinking baby I should get it out
And I don't wanna sound redundant
But I was wondering if there was something that you wanna know
But never mind that we should let it go [let it go]
Cuz we don't wanna be a T.V. episode [episode]
And all the bad thoughts just let them go [let them go, go, go]

No one else of all
There’s no one else compares
The way you showed me love
Helps me to chase away my fears
Gotta trust Love peace with U
[Gotta trust Love peace with U]
Gotta trust Love peace with U

So am I, the one that has your love
Coz there’s no one else for me
I’m saying we’re meant for us
You’re the only one I see
Till because of Love peace with U
[Till because of Love peace with U]
Till because of Love peace with U

Beautiful girls all over the world [all over]
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi [hi] and I might say hey [hello]
But you shouldn't worry [why] about what they say
Coz they got nothing on you baby

[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you]
Nothing on you baby

[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you, Come on!]

There's no much nonsense
It's on my conscience
I'm thinking baby I should get it out
And I don't wanna sound redundant
But I was wondering if there was something that you wanna know
But never mind that we should let it go [let it go]
Cuz we don't wanna be a T.V. episode [episode]
And all the bad thoughts just let them go [let them go, go, go]

Beautiful girls~ Beautiful girls~

Beautiful girls all over the world [all over]
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi [hi] and I might say hey [hello]
But you shouldn't worry [why] about what they say
Coz they got nothing on you baby

[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you]
Nothing on you baby

[not.. not.. nothing on you baby, not.. not.. nothing on you, Come on!]

Download song :: jay park - count on me (nothin' on you)

i got better ^^

Previously, I used Mobi for my connection. I thought that, it was enough for me to access the internet. I only need to log-in on Gmail, Facebook, Plurk, Yahoo Messenger to run my life & business. Those things are important for me. Although, I want to download music, video, etc too..

** sorry, I forgot to check on speedtest.net

One day, when I should to update & commit my job, I couldn't access to server, because I only got less than 1 kbps (doooh). Gloomy period for IT's people, so horrible. We can't live without internet, trust me..

In several days, I sang: "Oooh, i can't live~~~ I can't live without you (internet)...."

** poor Lee, I couldn't load speedtest.net page

I don't wan't to risk my job, my boss & my client..

I never say 'never' (sang again)

Then, I decided to use SMART with a dual band modem. Even some of SMART's user disappointed *you know what* :p

I still believe, that someday speed of internet in Indonesia would be better.

and this is more than enough for Lee^^

[Home Sweet Home, Magelang - January 13, 2011]

--- learn to be grateful ---

lee seung chul - geum sara (that person) (lyric)

lee seung chul - geum sara (that person)

OST. Baker King

geu saram nal utge han saram
That person was the one who made me smile
geu saram nal ulge han saram
That person was the one who made me cry
geu saram ttatteutan ipsullo naege
With her warm lips to me
nae simjangeul chajajun saram
That person found my heart

geu sarang jiul su eomneunde
I can’t erase that love
geu sarang ijeul su eomneunde
I can’t forget that love
geu saram nae sum gateun saram
That person was like my oxygen
geureon sarami tteonaganeyo
That person is now leaving

geu sarama saranga apeun gaseuma
That person. That love. My aching heart
amugeotdo moreun sarama
You didn’t know anything
saranghaetgo tto saranghaeseo
I loved you, and I love you
bonael su bakke eomneun sarama… nae saranga
That’s why I have no choice but to let you leave… my love

nae gaseum neodeol georindedo
Even if my heart becomes tattered
geu chueok nareul sewo jjilleodo
Even if that memory pains me all day
geu saram heullil nunmuri
The tears that person sheds
nareul deoukdeo apeuge haneyo
Hurts me even more

geu sarama saranga apeun gaseuma
That person. That love. My aching heart
amugeotdo moreuneun sarama
You didn’t know anything
nunmul daesin seulpeum daesin
Instead of tears, instead of pain
nareul itgo haengbokhage sarajwo… nae saranga
Forget about me and live happily… my love

urisarmi dahaeseo uri dunun gameulttae geuttae hanbeon gieokhae
When our lives are over and we close our eyes, Then remember me one time

geu sarama saranga apeun gaseuma
That person. That love. My aching heart
amugeotdo moreun sarama
You didn’t know anything
saranghaetgo tto saranghaeseo
I loved you, and I love you
bonael su bakke eomneun sarama…
That’s why I have no choice but to let you leave… my love

nae saranga nae saranga nae saranga
my love… my love… my love…

Download song :: lee seung chul - geum sara

j.a.c.k.p.o.t

... the world always spin with or without you ...

As usual, I made a call to Simbok (my lovely moms). I reported some interesting stories to her. I almost spend 3-millions on this day. (woot) 3-million in a day? With my own money, what's wrong with my world ^^

2-million for buying SE Xperia X8. I need a new mobile phone in a very long time. Unfortunately, it would be indent..
600 thousand for buying a new modem. I chose Dual-Band modem with SMART provider. I hope, I have great connection in Magelang (my hometown) & Jogja (my workplace). As an IT's person, our lives depend on the internet, really..
400 thousand to pay boarding fees for about 2 month. Sometimes I forgot about this thing (doh)
150 thousand for buying new laptop bag (included 50% discount). I want to wear a backpack one.

Then, I thought that 3-million wasn't a small number. I decided to pay regularly in a week.
So, I shared this story. Guess it, what she said? She tried to lecture me about the future, my job, my workplace, my life, bla bla bla.. I couldn't breath for a while, dropped my tears and felt very angry.

the stupid lee said:
"i couldn't leave them", "do you know my thought or my feeling", "if you were in my position", "you don't know what i'm doing", "whether I was being playful", "so, what should i do, huh", "q!@#$%^&", ....

I knew if Simbok knew that I cried, from my voice, from my answer.. She told me on our last conversation, "just thing about it...." Geez, from the first time, I knew that she was right (ToT)
And I just got J.A.C.K.P.O.T from my baby, muaaach..

--- hope is a dream that never sleeps ---

koe wo kikasete

... let me hear your voice ...
Yeah, Since you went away hasn't been the sameIn my heart all I got is pain
Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain
Sunlight moonlight you lit my life realize in the night
while love shines bright
Cant let you go we're meant forever baby let me know

This past without you, Can't forget you
Letting me be the cloud hanging above me
Raining on me missing you touch
Nights get long and it's hard to clutch
We're apart breaks my heart
Its all for the best girl you're my world
In time my love unfurls
He will then wait for you girl
--- GD & T.O.P are too cool ---I was petrified

Download song :: big bang - let me hear your voice

quotes from "Bread, Love and Dreams"

... Baker King: Kim Tak Goo ...
(Bread, Love and Dreams)


my name is Kim Tak Goo
'tak' refers to 'glory'
'goo' refers to 'reach'
[powerful name]
(heartbeat) dag, dig, dug

do not raise a black-haired beast
[someday, it would bite you]
wooogh, harsh criticism....

in the end, good people will win
[if that world is what you expect, then let it be]
(hail) O good people

fate will unite us
if there is a fate, then we'll meet again
[no matter what, that is a good or bad one]
do you believe in fate?


--- i'll update 'til the end of the movie ---